I have neglected my hobby, namely the blogging thing. It's like big brother without the fat english dyke and the mould she passes as hair. And I can tell you it's so entertaining that I think we should make a movie with tom hanks and meg ryan, You got a comment, and it can be about people who post crap and other people and leave smileys and positive reinforcing comments that make the blogger feel warm and fuzzy and think that bad grammar and poor spelling and irreputable syntax maketh the Hilfiger model. Oh God I have seen photos of some of them. My god, eyes cocked like two pistols, and arrogantly stupid.
Hesitantly I have tried to be understanding, but after watching those concerts on the environment where Cameron came out in those teeny shorts and asked us to save electricity (I wonder how much they used to produce and broadcast those concerts in the first place?) I decided we needed to have a concert to rub out the gorilla crap on the net. Firstly blogs that eat up bandwidth, and pollute the internet searches with thoughts and illogocal processes that future archeologists will hopefully not class as "rock paintings of a primitive life form."
In that vein I think It's time to put up a list of really shitty, and shitty is me being nice about it, blogs for this week. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but now Paris points and laughs. FTW
What rhymes with Silver?
The Organ Harvester
Being something
large marshmallows
A wondering minstrel
Maybe I am a bit harsh, but reading some of them, I wondered what must occupy these lives to this extent. Living brain donor award goes to...
Here are a few that you might enjoy though. Lord there is hope.
All because of you
Concerning MJ
The Chronicles of Blaaahnia
Undefined (no it's not Alanis)
Vote, comment, swear, but please show us something. That you havent stepped out of Walter's or K-mart catalogue. That aspiration is not a hilfiger advert. Tralalalalala!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
We humbly submit
Judgment day,
To the religious few, they must surely believe in some reckoning, so point in the timeline when everyone, not just the poor are made to pay in full for their actions. but reading through http://www.rhymesws.blogspot.com/ I almost choked on my coffee. Yes I mentioned someone's blog. yes I am being direct. fuck it's a lot shorter than me making up some story and hinting which most of you dont get anyway. read her last post and if that doesnt make hot coffee run out of your nose in a fit of hysteria then I don't know what will.
Surely attention seeking is a sin somewhere. If only for the annoyance value. Yes well i can hear those tiny cogs in your head working overtimes, grinding and squealing under the stress of primitive thought processes. Now dont get me wrong. I am trying not to be mean. but at some point you have to draw on the big stick with points knobs. The post is called dont judge a book by it's cover. But have a solid read through and that should have you in stitches. Honest to Deity shallowness. The kind of shallow that people would call an impending drought. Drought of anything substantial to contribute.
Ok so it's her blog. She can say what she wants. Like Paris can lecture kids on avoiding liquor and cars. Like David beckham can lecture on wormholes and time travel. That is their right. But honestly we dont have sit here and just close the page. We should be able to say that is mud pie.
Maybe weekends are not the best of times to be reading something as obviously deficient. Someone so obliviously self deprecating that i develop aversions to any name starting with an R.
Brand conscious and personally oblivious, they on the planet me, population 2, me and my ego, and rule by divine rule, or so the legend goes. How could they love anyone else when they have given their hearts to themselves?
Here is hoping they get bored with blogging and disappear eventually.
To the religious few, they must surely believe in some reckoning, so point in the timeline when everyone, not just the poor are made to pay in full for their actions. but reading through http://www.rhymesws.blogspot.com/ I almost choked on my coffee. Yes I mentioned someone's blog. yes I am being direct. fuck it's a lot shorter than me making up some story and hinting which most of you dont get anyway. read her last post and if that doesnt make hot coffee run out of your nose in a fit of hysteria then I don't know what will.
Surely attention seeking is a sin somewhere. If only for the annoyance value. Yes well i can hear those tiny cogs in your head working overtimes, grinding and squealing under the stress of primitive thought processes. Now dont get me wrong. I am trying not to be mean. but at some point you have to draw on the big stick with points knobs. The post is called dont judge a book by it's cover. But have a solid read through and that should have you in stitches. Honest to Deity shallowness. The kind of shallow that people would call an impending drought. Drought of anything substantial to contribute.
Ok so it's her blog. She can say what she wants. Like Paris can lecture kids on avoiding liquor and cars. Like David beckham can lecture on wormholes and time travel. That is their right. But honestly we dont have sit here and just close the page. We should be able to say that is mud pie.
Maybe weekends are not the best of times to be reading something as obviously deficient. Someone so obliviously self deprecating that i develop aversions to any name starting with an R.
Brand conscious and personally oblivious, they on the planet me, population 2, me and my ego, and rule by divine rule, or so the legend goes. How could they love anyone else when they have given their hearts to themselves?
Here is hoping they get bored with blogging and disappear eventually.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Comprehende
Try as I might to understand some Africans I will never be able to understand the Zimbabweans. Most believe that they are English by virtue of their preivate schooling that has left them with that horrible accent that sounds like they spent about 5 years performing fellatio on race car exhaust pipes. And most of them still live in the past when Zimbabwe was the only democracy on the continent and they had bread. If you ask any Zimbabwean about how things were they tell you how their currency was stronger than the Rand, how Malawi depended on them for food. And how they summered in Europe. When-we's is the name for those Rhodesian sorts who still fondly remember when the Queen was the head of the nation. And when we were in Rhodesia, blacks knew their place. I have never met a nation of people more in love with their colonial past that even the former colonisers are embarassed. And now that we are watching most of the country rot on the vine so to speak, every expat Zimbabwean whether he be in Botswana, South Africa or even lowly Malawi will point how it could all easily happen. Because they were also a shining Democracy once. They are suffering so they want to wish it on everyone else. They are an arroagnt nation. Conceited. Smaller nations have revolted against worse tyrants. But not Zimbabweans, they're too English. That would be below them. Not their cup of tea I guess. This as lesser countries send them food to eat.
Humbly I would submit that all borders with Zimbabwe be cut off. Because as it stands the rish bastards are holidaying locally, purging themselves on Seafood because it is so cheap here or shopping the SA economy into triple digit growth rates while their less fortunate countrymen are starving to death.
Now can anyone explain how Zimbabwe can ever be compared to any nation on the African Continent? Not even Nigeria during the 80's was as corrupt. So if you meet one of the when we's either toss them back over the border, or find some other way to send them back. Let them whinge and whine like true englishmen in their own province/county of the United Kingdom.
Humbly I would submit that all borders with Zimbabwe be cut off. Because as it stands the rish bastards are holidaying locally, purging themselves on Seafood because it is so cheap here or shopping the SA economy into triple digit growth rates while their less fortunate countrymen are starving to death.
Now can anyone explain how Zimbabwe can ever be compared to any nation on the African Continent? Not even Nigeria during the 80's was as corrupt. So if you meet one of the when we's either toss them back over the border, or find some other way to send them back. Let them whinge and whine like true englishmen in their own province/county of the United Kingdom.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Sleeping like the dead
Not everyday do you come home to find that you German Sheperd has did a number on the bed. Loose hair everywhere it's not long before I am all puffy with allergies. Ironically, she doesnt bother me otherwise. Wife person will have definate problem with this. Dog must go outside. Sure as long as her folks dont come to visit. Sounds fair me thinks...
So here I am recovering from a cocktail of allergy tablets that just knocked me out. I woke up like a Hemingway after a night out on the town, but without the tragic suicide. I should get down to some work.
Oh in the spirit of Spring and ridding myself of annoyances. One because it is distracting like a mother fucker. 2 because some people are too selfish to be within my golden circle. And I hate having to explain myself over and over again, like I just called her whore in cyrillic. OK let me explain what she is all about. She always has some pain. Not because she has a poor diet, or takes shitty care off herself and puts herself under strain. And when she feels the pressure, she complains, her this is sore, her that is sore. I've tried to be all sunshine and christian about it. But I feel her sucking the marrow out of my bones as soon as I see an email. So I told her everything that I thought about.
Her response: So you want me out of you life?
My response: No. Dont go. Fuck off!
Yes I could have not said nasty things like that. But she is inconsiderate. Everytime she has aproblem with something or someone, she expects you to prise it out of her. And she refuses to solve it. I really cant be bothered. It's a confidence thing. Dead weight is dead weight. I am not a fucking hot air balloon needing counter weight.
I see some of the retards have stopped blogging. Nice one big guy!
So here I am recovering from a cocktail of allergy tablets that just knocked me out. I woke up like a Hemingway after a night out on the town, but without the tragic suicide. I should get down to some work.
Oh in the spirit of Spring and ridding myself of annoyances. One because it is distracting like a mother fucker. 2 because some people are too selfish to be within my golden circle. And I hate having to explain myself over and over again, like I just called her whore in cyrillic. OK let me explain what she is all about. She always has some pain. Not because she has a poor diet, or takes shitty care off herself and puts herself under strain. And when she feels the pressure, she complains, her this is sore, her that is sore. I've tried to be all sunshine and christian about it. But I feel her sucking the marrow out of my bones as soon as I see an email. So I told her everything that I thought about.
Her response: So you want me out of you life?
My response: No. Dont go. Fuck off!
Yes I could have not said nasty things like that. But she is inconsiderate. Everytime she has aproblem with something or someone, she expects you to prise it out of her. And she refuses to solve it. I really cant be bothered. It's a confidence thing. Dead weight is dead weight. I am not a fucking hot air balloon needing counter weight.
I see some of the retards have stopped blogging. Nice one big guy!
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
greeting from the mobility of the internet. well since my last post, i have received less than flattering views. mostly crude attempts to sound dangerous, intimidating and uncover my identity. well i wont say who i'm not.
what's up with all the swearing? i mean some people swear and it's like sexy music. well to me anyway. slightly dysfunctional. yes but the option to Blog about woolworths food was already taken. *yawn*
so call me a cock sucker, wishing a severe case of vaginal thrush on me, it has been an interesting week. let me round up by saying, some people were meant to swear, others give you that same feeling you get when father o' mally offers to blow you in the confessional. definitively no. what was i harping on about? oh yes swearing, do it only if you really confident and not trying to come off as if you're not swearing. lucid enough?
ever get that feeling that there are some people you cant help cuss at? mother FUCKER, son of a bitch, cunt, FUCKER, BASTARD are only examples of the run of the mill terms available. but what still amazes me is the many references guys have to make to each other's genitalia. how many mother's were involved in severe collisions while pregnant, or worse acted as test subjects in tik labs?
OK, well i have a schedule to maintain. run bitches.
what's up with all the swearing? i mean some people swear and it's like sexy music. well to me anyway. slightly dysfunctional. yes but the option to Blog about woolworths food was already taken. *yawn*
so call me a cock sucker, wishing a severe case of vaginal thrush on me, it has been an interesting week. let me round up by saying, some people were meant to swear, others give you that same feeling you get when father o' mally offers to blow you in the confessional. definitively no. what was i harping on about? oh yes swearing, do it only if you really confident and not trying to come off as if you're not swearing. lucid enough?
ever get that feeling that there are some people you cant help cuss at? mother FUCKER, son of a bitch, cunt, FUCKER, BASTARD are only examples of the run of the mill terms available. but what still amazes me is the many references guys have to make to each other's genitalia. how many mother's were involved in severe collisions while pregnant, or worse acted as test subjects in tik labs?
OK, well i have a schedule to maintain. run bitches.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Pedal pusher
Shoot me if this is no where near the truth. But surely if a blog is on the public domain, and people are free to drop drivel like a leakey bum, surely by the grace of the Almighty, we as readers should be allowed to comment in a manner befitting the post/comment?
I mean really. I read some of the responses to comments and answered emails from irate bloggers who feel I am too harsh or personal. One person even threatened to implement blogger moderation. Surely, if you dont want those ugly people saying ugly things, you should either not blog and keep the madness inside your head. Or worse, restrict the number of people who read your blog. That way you can keep all the nice people who will only say nice things about you. Free speech works both ways and I dont believe in this if you dont like it dont read it shitit! It's in the publc domain, so surely any person with two braincells can logically conclude, that not everyone reading this will pat me on the head and give me a treat. Or am I too optimistic. The bottom line should read, if you cant satnd the heat, get out of the kitchen. Your blog is public property. Deal with it. You pollute the internet with you random thoughts about being angry, what men want and how woolworths is a substitute for having a personality. Give me a break. Not exactly straining the cognitive process. So in the same breath, comments should be allowed the same flexibility you allowed yourself while posting that trite you call a post.
besides you enjoy the thought that you might gain some groupies who will assauge your battered egoes and make you walk around with an erection all day. Only two steps out of the cave... Higher thought is an admirable goal.
Once again, my opinion. Feel free to leave more hatemail and warnings with a totalitarian finger wagging.
But I'm sorry but if someone leaves a dumb post, in my opinion anyway, I think it's fair to comment appropriately. It's about balance, not about skipping through the daffodils and kissing the sun. If you feel i'm too harsh, your retort is welcome, encouraged in fact. I feel like captain America fighting for the democratic way.
Shoot me if this is no where near the truth. But surely if a blog is on the public domain, and people are free to drop drivel like a leakey bum, surely by the grace of the Almighty, we as readers should be allowed to comment in a manner befitting the post/comment?
I mean really. I read some of the responses to comments and answered emails from irate bloggers who feel I am too harsh or personal. One person even threatened to implement blogger moderation. Surely, if you dont want those ugly people saying ugly things, you should either not blog and keep the madness inside your head. Or worse, restrict the number of people who read your blog. That way you can keep all the nice people who will only say nice things about you. Free speech works both ways and I dont believe in this if you dont like it dont read it shitit! It's in the publc domain, so surely any person with two braincells can logically conclude, that not everyone reading this will pat me on the head and give me a treat. Or am I too optimistic. The bottom line should read, if you cant satnd the heat, get out of the kitchen. Your blog is public property. Deal with it. You pollute the internet with you random thoughts about being angry, what men want and how woolworths is a substitute for having a personality. Give me a break. Not exactly straining the cognitive process. So in the same breath, comments should be allowed the same flexibility you allowed yourself while posting that trite you call a post.
besides you enjoy the thought that you might gain some groupies who will assauge your battered egoes and make you walk around with an erection all day. Only two steps out of the cave... Higher thought is an admirable goal.
Once again, my opinion. Feel free to leave more hatemail and warnings with a totalitarian finger wagging.
But I'm sorry but if someone leaves a dumb post, in my opinion anyway, I think it's fair to comment appropriately. It's about balance, not about skipping through the daffodils and kissing the sun. If you feel i'm too harsh, your retort is welcome, encouraged in fact. I feel like captain America fighting for the democratic way.
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